This year, as my 10th grade class was reading “To Kill A Mockingbird”, I was thinking about how this is the fifth year in a row that I have taught Harper Lee’s novel, and how I have enjoyed it more with every year. One of my favorite scenes in the novel is when Aunt Alexandra informs the young protagonist Scout that it is her job to be a “sunbeam” in her father’s life, with the implication that performing that task well will prepare her for the day that she will become a sunbeam in her husband’s life.
It is at this point in the novel that I like to pose a question to my female students. I begin by saying, “This question is for you ladies. How many of you would say that you feel like a sunbeam right now?” I am usually answered with silence, but occasionally, I will have a more outspoken student that will respond with something along the lines of, “What the hell does that even mean?” To which I will respond, “Well, it means that as a woman in the 1930s, one of your ultimate goals was to find a husband, and once you did, you would spend the rest of your life trying to make him as happy as possible.”
My students often have mixed responses to this. Usually, a few female students that are feeling crushed under the pressure of grades, scholarships, and earning community service hours are in awe of such a prospect. “That’s all?” They exclaim, “That sounds pretty great to me!” These students are forgetting of course, how privileged they are, that their greatest hurdle in life is making it into the top ten percent of their class. They have forgotten, much like the women behind the inimical “I don’t need feminism” movement, how fortunate they are to have the freedom to follow almost any career path they choose. The majority of my female students, however, understand how lucky they are to have the opportunity to determine their own future, and will often express their relief that times are different now.
But, as my students voice their gratitude for how much times have changed for women today, I find myself wondering if the role women have played for years in pleasing men has really improved, or if it has just changed. When I look at how famous women appear in magazines, movies, or television, I can’t really spot many progressive female role models for my students. My students don’t look up to Malala Yousafzai or Kalpana Chawla; I would be surprised if they knew who they were. My students aspire to be like Ariana Grande, who has a beautiful singing voice, but sits on the cover of Seventeen magazine, her legs splayed wide to reveal her thighs under a short skirt. She is not cooking a meal for her man, or sewing a button onto his shirt, but she is still behaving like a perfect little sunbeam. Her importance is built upon making men happy, and she does so by allowing herself to be sexualized.
My students are so accustomed to seeing their favorite celebrities playing in these submissive sexual roles, that they often mistake what they are seeing as bravery. I get that. When Miley Cyrus bends over in a nude outfit in front of Robin Thicke, it looks like she is out-of-control, like she is doing something wild. When Kim Kardashian drops her covering, and stands nude for a photo shoot, it gives the impression that she is bold and daring. But, these women are falling into the same molds that have existed for females for generations. It doesn’t matter if these women sing or dance well, it matters how good their bodies look, and they must expose themselves again, and again. It disturbs me deeply that these women only know how to up their game by taking off their clothes and displaying themselves as sexual objects. How is that bravery? They are doing exactly what is expected of them, they are using their bodies to attract attention, namely from men.
Yes, these are beautiful young women who should be proud of their bodies. But, the problem is that as long as women continue to strip down for the camera, and use their bodies as their most valuable currency, then they and the girls that admire them, will never learn to truly value themselves and the other qualities they possess. Kim Kardashian is an attractive young woman with a gorgeous baby. But, does it matter to the media if she is a good mother? No, what our society wants to know is if she can look hot again with her clothes off. That in itself, is not okay, but more importantly, that kind of thinking really impacts young girls who believe that their worth is in their desirability.
Five years ago, I was teaching in a middle school when a colleague of mine brought it to my attention that some of our male students were giving our female students condoms. “Why are they giving the girls condoms?” I asked her, “What, are they just handing them out?”
“No,” she replied. “They are giving condoms to girls that they think are hot. It’s a status thing. A lot of our girls are hoping to get a condom so that they will feel like they’re attractive. I think we might need to find a way to meet with these girls and talk to them.”
Together, we started a girl’s club as an opportunity to talk to our students about they thought made them valuable. At our first meeting, we started out by asking the girls to write down a few things that they liked about themselves and then we gave them an opportunity to share.
One girl said that she liked that she is a good friend. A different girl remarked, “I like how I always wear bright colors, it makes me feel happy.” Another girl said that she liked making people laugh.
In that meeting, and the one’s following it, we talked to the girls about their strengths, what they looked for in a boyfriend, and when they should walk away from a bad relationship. We even had a speaker from Planned Parenthood come to talk to them about sex and healthy choices. Ultimately, we wanted our students to understand that while it’s great to get attention and feel attractive, that their bodies are not the only thing that makes them special. They needed to think about their talents outside of a man’s perspective. This is a lesson that is getting harder and harder to teach, as our society places increasingly more importance on the shape of a girl’s butt, on the volume of her lips, and on the thinness of her thighs.
Our girls are under more pressure than ever before to be sunbeams. Perhaps, they are no longer being told that their greatest aspiration in life is to find a husband and to make him happy. But, they are still being told, albeit indirectly, that their worth is in how enticing they are to men. That expectation is unfair to our young girls, and it is a huge distraction from the truth, that all of them are capable of so much more. There are so many other ways to shine than to be a sunbeam. We need to tell our girls that the true light of their abilities, comes from within.
Vivian Maguire is an English Teacher and a parent in El Paso, TX. Follow her on Twitter @Maguireteacher. Like her Facebook page.
