One of the best things about being an English teacher, is that I can have my students write and respond to multiple themes that we come upon in our reading. These writing prompts and literary discussions are often just a launching pad for ideas that I really want my students to think about.
We talk about Atticus Finch, who tells his daughter Scout in “To Kill A Mockingbird”, that she shouldn’t judge others without walking around in their skin for a while. I take that opportunity to talk to my students about how they might want to think about what another person’s life is like, before they tear that person apart with their friends. When we read “The Monkey’s Paw”, by W. W. Jacobs, we talk about how often we don’t realize how much we have, until it is gone. While reading “Occupation Conductorette” by Maya Angelou, we discuss the difference between the reality that we live in, versus its underlying truth.
I am sure that from my students’ perspective, I am just another adult spouting the same advice that they hear from all grownups; and I guess I am, in the sense that like their parents, I am trying to prevent them from making the same mistakes that I made when I was younger. But, what most people do not realize, is that being an educator is not limited to showing students how to solve math problems or write a solid research paper. Teachers teach students how to work with others, and how to treat people with respect. We want to show them how to be successful in life, not just in our classrooms. With this in mind, I wanted to write about the many lessons that I share with my students.
This essay is for you, my students. This is everything I want you to know about being a successful adult:
You are what you do. I think we all like to think of ourselves as good people. But, something I would like to share with you, students, is that you cannot separate yourself from your actions. Everything that you do becomes part of who you are. You cannot be kind to those you love, and cruel to those outside of your social circle. That is easy. Being kind to everyone, even people that your friends don’t accept is harder, but being kind to others is something that you will not regret. You will likely regret, however, being unkind to others when you are older, and more aware of the weight of your actions. Something else to think about students, is how your actions will impact other people. I’m talking about taking things that don’t belong to you. Right now, valuables that are left unoccupied might look like an awesome score. But, think about someone taking something from you that is equally valuable, something that cannot be replaced. Unfortunately students, it is impossible to be a good person and ignore the impact of your actions. Think about what you do and how it will affect other people. You do make a difference. What kind of difference do you want to make?
You can learn from your mistakes, but some mistakes will change everything. It’s true students, that you are young and you have some time to figure out who you are. That does not, however, mean that you don’t have to take responsibility for your actions. Though you will learn from some of your mistakes, I want you to know that you should still stop and think about everything that you do. There are some choices that you will make that will change the course of your life. You will not always be able to go back and fix things. Being young does not mean you have to be reckless too. Think about everything you do. Life is hard enough without throwing road blocks in your own way.
There is no magic switch. Something I had to learn the hard way, students, is that there is no magic switch that you can flip on between childhood to adulthood that will change you into a hard-working, responsible adult. The decision to put effort into everything that you do has to come from you, and you have to start now. I know that many of you think that you can be lazy now, and then work hard later. Students, you know which of your peers do as little work as possible, which students will make their partners do all the work, and which students skip out on class. Do you really think these students will grow up to be successful adults? More often, they will continue this behavior into adulthood. I have worked with many grown-ups that do as little as possible in the workplace. I have worked with adults that find ways to pass their work onto others, that skip out of work early, that let deadlines just pass them by, unless, they make the decision somewhere along the way to stop coasting through life and to start pushing themselves harder. I know that some of you think that you can’t help it because you just happen to be lazy. Guess what kids, I’m lazy, we’re all lazy—it’s a flaw that everyone possesses. But, you have to find ways to fight that urge to slack off every day if you want to be the kind of person that people can count on. Be the person that is valued in the workplace. Those adults that are just getting by don’t last very long by the way. When budget cuts come, they are usually the first to go.
Treat everyone with respect. This is by far the most important, but also the hardest rule of thumb to follow, students. Why? Because it is natural for people to want others to earn their respect before they give it. When in doubt students, remember that everyone you meet is on trial, in the sense that they are innocent until proven guilty. In other words, treat everyone with respect and you can’t go wrong. Will some people demonstrate that they are less than worthy of your respect? Most certainly. Is it okay to disrespect them then? Most certainly not. The hardest thing about being a responsible adult kids, is staying out of the drama. You should try to treat your enemies with respect as well, from a safe distance. Handle your conflicts professionally; it will do you no good to burn all of your bridges. You never know when you will need to go to someone for help. And speaking of help students, think about how you ask people for help. When you go to your parents for money, or when you want your teachers to help you with your grades, or when you want your friends to do you a favor, remember, no one owes you anything. People help you because they care about you, so be thankful and gracious, not so people will do things for you, but so you can be the kind of person that people want to help.
Life is hard guys, but it will be a lot harder if you do not prepare yourself for the real world. I think when we’re young we all imagine ourselves as being successful adults. But, that only happens for individuals who stop thinking about the person they want to be, and start acting like the person they want to be. Think of the people we admire most in this world for their kindness, their dedication, and for the way that they treat others. Think of the person you want to be, think about what you like about yourself, and remember, you are nearly there.
Vivian Maguire is a teacher and a parent in El Paso, Texas. Follow her on twitter @Maguireteacher. Like her Facebook page.
